7 ways to express your true self through your outfit each day

Why do so many women struggle to express themselves?

As women we are innately designed with a desire to express ourselves through the way we dress. The dilemma enters when we don’t know who we are or how to express ourselves. This tears us between a fervent desire for self-expression and the frustration of selecting an outfit each day. How do we abridge these two opposing forces to bring us to a place of joyful and confident self-expression?

Which colours will make your features come alive? Which clothes will enhance your favourite features and hide your least favourite features?

Which make-up and accessories will work best for your colour season and how do you combine them with an outfit?

Should you follow fashion or follow your heart?

Let’s explore a few ways for you to uncover your own unique style and how to effortlessly express it day by day.

1. Know thyself:

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates mused that you should ‘Know thyself’. This is of course a weighty philosophical and spiritual topic, but it’s a necessary question that creates a golden thread through each area of our lives.

Including the way we dress.

Think about the person in your life who you admire most when it comes to expressing herself through her outfit each day. A woman who wears her style with confidence and delight. If I ask you whether this person is confident in her identity and her place in this world, I’m sure you will answer with a resounding yes.

The people who are most at peace with themselves and who have undergone the journey of self-discovery, are usually the people with the most effortless and authentic style.

The way you dress is essentially an extension of who you are deep inside. The more understanding and confidence you have in who you are deep inside, the easier it is to ‘extend yourself’ through your outfit each day.

Before we delve into more practical tips towards uncovering your personal style, I want to wholeheartedly encourage you to make a decision to uncover your true identity, to comprehensively understand who you are (and Whose you are). The more you uncover the beauty of who you are, the more you will seamlessly have an understanding of your core style personality. No one can reveal this to you - it’s your own discovery and the end result is an avalanche of joy.

2. Know your colour season:

Many of us love wearing colour. Most of us don’t know which colours work best for us. If you’re not familiar with the concept of colour analysis - pull up a chair and grab your make-up brush.

The world of colour analysis completely rocked my world. I finally understood why I looked old, tired, dull and ‘out of it’ in grey, pastel colours and beige, whereas warm, bright colours not only warmed my heart, but definitely made my features come alive.

A master image consultant performed a colour analysis on me two years ago and established that I’m placed in the warm, clear and bright season. If this seems Greek to you, I’m not here to teach you the difference between Parakaló and Kallos. I’m merely here to encourage you to have a colour analysis performed if you have not done so already.

When you understand and embrace your colour season, you will know exactly which colours enhance your best features and (wait for it…) hide your flaws. Yes, that truly is the magic of wearing ‘your colours’.

Another plus point is that all the colours in a season are in harmony with each other. This implies that if you wear any colours within your season in combination, it will seamlessly and harmoniously work together to ensure your outfit forms a cohesive unit.

Understanding your best colours is a major contributor to expressing your authentic self. Your colour season provides you with a rainbow of colours, tones and shades to choose from that most resonate with you. There are accents and neutrals within each season, which means that you can tone it down or tune it up, depending on your mood and desired way of expressing yourself for the day.

Your wardrobe will become a playing field, where you can boundlessly have fun in combining clothes, accessories and jewellery. Once your eye is trained to recognize your best colours, you will save loads of money by not buying clothes and accessories that aren’t in your season. Believe me, this helps greatly in culling your shopping decisions.

Know your colours. Wear your colours. Have fun!

“The best colour in the world is the one that looks good on you.” (Coco Chanel)

3. Love your body. Understand your body.

Several years ago, Dove performed a research study on more than 10 000 women, spanning over 13 countries. Here are a few of the results that send chills down my spine each time I read it:

• 70% of women say taking time to care for themselves helps them to feel more confident

• 80% of women want to look their personal best instead of following an accepted definition of beauty

• 13% of women are satisfied with their beauty

• 12% of women are satisfied with their physical attractiveness

• 13% are satisfied with their body weight and shape

• Only 4% of women consider themselves beautiful

• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful, but do not see her own beauty

The world is in dire need of women coming to a place of self-love and self-acceptance, especially when it comes to their relationship with their bodies. We find it so easy to see the beauty in another woman, but we persistently refuse to look at ourselves with soft, kind eyes.

Why don’t you join me on a revolution where we start loving our bodies and embrace our authentic beauty - warts and all?

Accepting your body and its inherent quirks is one step forward to expressing your most beautiful self. The second step forward is understanding what works for your body and what doesn’t work for your body. If you understood how certain fabrics, cuts and designs can enhance your best features and hide your flaws - wouldn’t this make a world of difference? I dare say yes.

A qualified image consultant will meticulously analyse your body shape and each aspect of what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, assisting you in putting together outfits that make you feel like the most beautiful version of yourself.

As you ease into a rhythm of loving your body and understanding your body, this rhythm will create a symphony with each outfit you compose. Imagine stepping out of the house each day, feeling beautiful in the colours you’re wearing, feeling at home in the clothes you’re wearing and tapping your feet to the song in your heart, because you’re loving each moment of expressing your true self.

This could be you. Step forward with me - the dance is worth it.

“Stop trying to fix your body; it was never broken.” (Eve Ensler)

4. Accessorize!

You get people with a shoe fetish. I’m not one of those people. I do, however, have an accessories fetish (if fetish is truly the most appropriate word for being passionate about something).

Over and over I have marvelled at how accessories can take an outfit from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. Accessories can even be applied as the focal point of an outfit - from a bold and colourful handbag to a multi-coloured beaded necklace to funky earrings - there’s no limit to how a piece of accessory can add a spark to your outfit.

Accessorising doesn’t necessarily have to add colour or drama - it can also be used practically: Clinching a dress at the waist. Wearing a handbag that matches your shoes, because something needs to match them. Tying a scarf around your head because you’ll wash your hair tomorrow.

When you start uncovering your best colours and how to best enhance your features, selecting the most suitable accessories becomes a simple, yet joyful, task.

For me personally, accessories are the most fun part when I put together an outfit. There are so many ways to bring harmony, fun and cohesion to an outfit by simply adding the right accessories.

Understanding your facial shape and bone structure goes a long way to helping you select the most suitable jewellery and other accessories that frame your face (scarves, headpieces, etc.). Accessories will either work in harmony with your features or it can highlight your least favourite features.

Understanding your body shape and bone structure helps you to select handbags that work best with the overall picture you paint each time you put on an outfit. Someone with a small bone structure, for example, looks most in harmony with daintier handbags with dainty straps. Someone with a larger bone structure can rock oversized handbags and tote bags. They can even go all out dramatic with bold colours (how fun is that?).

Over and above your inherent features, accessories are all about expressing yourself. Just because a type of accessory suits your body shape, your colour season and your bone structure, doesn’t mean that it sparks joy for you or that it will make you feel amazing. The main determining factor when selecting accessories should be - ‘Does this feel like me?’

When it comes to accessories, the world is your oyster and you better whip up some pearls.

“Accessories are like vitamins to fashion - as such, you should use them liberally." (Anna dello Russo)

5. Paint a masterpiece on your face:

We all know what a red lippy can do to a woman’s confidence. The question is - is it really you? And are you wearing the right shade of red?

Make-up is essentially a way for you to paint your truest self on your face and to take it out into the world each day. It provides you with a way to accentuate all the colours (or some of the colours) in your outfit and it enables you to enhance your best features and hide your flaws.

There are many factors that influence the best make-up approach for you - your personality, your colour season, your style identity, your current mood, the features you wish to enhance, the features you wish to minimize and your personal preferences.

In each colour season there are a multitude of colours that you can tap into, this includes more neutral colours for ladies who are perhaps in a bright season, but prefer not to go all out with their make-up. Or perhaps you’re in a softer, more muted season, but you love being bold with your make-up. Of course you can! Every detail of how you express yourself is up to you. The more you are in touch with your truest self, the more you will naturally express yourself.

Navigating the vast world of make-up can be overwhelming and confusing. So much so that many women simply resort to foundation and mascara. Perhaps a lippy or two. The world of make-up should rather be viewed as a boundless playing field where you are spoiled with choice. Knowing your colour season, your face shape and your style identity will inform your make-up selections and ensure that you buy and apply the correct products.

When you are set up with a collection of products that work best for you, it’s time to start playing. There are thousands of tutorials and DIY tips online - instead of feeling overwhelmed, rather choose one or two reputable platforms (preferably a qualified, experienced make-up artist) and follow their guidance on how to apply make-up.

When you understand the basics of application, it’s time to start having fun. Start by selecting products that are in harmony with your outfit and accessories for the day. Also, check in with yourself - how are you feeling? How do you want to express yourself on this day? Based on your outfit and your answers to these questions, select the most appropriate products and paint the beautiful palette in front of you.

The more you ease into experimenting with make-up, the more you’ll gain confidence in what works for you and what doesn’t work for you.

Go on, paint that picture and enjoy every moment!

“I believe all women are pretty without makeup - but with the right makeup can be pretty powerful.” (Bobbi Brown)

6. Don't be pretty like her. Be pretty like you.

Mark Twain hit the nail on the head when he uttered the words “Comparison is the death of joy”. We all desire to live with wholehearted joy and yet we allow joy’s enemy to reign in our hearts day by day. Social media doesn’t make it any easier…

The problem with comparing your beauty with other women’s beauty is: You either see them as prettier, better and more confident than you are, leaving you feeling insecure, unpretty and shortchanged. Or you see yourself as prettier, better and more confident than they are, leaving you feeling arrogant, prideful and vain. Neither conclusions serve you on your venture to becoming your truest self, which hopefully includes the desire to cultivate humble confidence in yourself and your authenticity.

So what is the alternative to comparing? The liberty of being yourself and coming to a place of complete contentment in your best features, your flaws and your quirks.

If I ask any woman what they would choose when given the option to be someone else or to be comfortable in their own skin. What do you think they’ll choose?

So, instead of tirelessly comparing yourself to every other woman out there and on social media. Stand back and firmly resolve to make a 180 turn in the other direction. Join the group of women who have decided to stop being a sheep and to rather pave their own way and find their own unique identity. A salmon swimming upstream, essentially.

It begins with a brave step in the right direction. Perhaps putting on that outfit that you’ve been hiding in the back of the closet, because it’s not currently a ‘trend’ although it sparks joy for you. Go ahead and spark in it! Perhaps a brave step forward is to rather do a deep dive and uncover who you really are, because as we’ve discussed - the more you know who you are, the easier it becomes to express it through your outfit and every detail of your life. Perhaps a step in the right direction requires you to take a breather from social media and rather spend that time constructively on your road towards authenticity.

Whatever the step looks like for you - as long as you take it without looking back.

Will you continue being a sheep or do you think it’s time to turn around and swim with the rest of the salmon to a beautiful place called freedom? The choice is yours.

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” (Charlotte Tilbury)

7. What sparks joy for you?

You’ve probably noticed that I use the term ‘what sparks joy for you?’ throughout this article. They say repetition leads to retention, so my hope is that by this time you have engraved it upon your heart that it’s essential to choose your outfit each day based on the joy it sparks for you.

This is the complete opposite approach to following trends, following fashion and following the idea of what you think you should be instead of who you really are.

The simple concept of ‘joy sparking outfits’ will eliminate all confusion when it comes to putting together an outfit and purchasing new items. If there’s joy, go for it. If you doubt, throw it out. Don’t wear it simply because it’s in your season, in your closet or in fashion. Wear it for the pure fact that it fills your heart with glee and that you feel completely yourself when you wrap yourself up in it.

I believe that most women who struggle to put together an outfit in the morning (and then simply resorting to wearing black, beige or white because they are ‘safe’ colours) is because they don’t know who they are, they don’t experience freedom in expressing themselves and they don’t believe they’re worthy of experiencing joy in what they wear each day.

Once you comb through these three issues and reach freedom on the other side, a river will burst forth, bringing life everywhere it flows. If you struggle to imagine how an outfit could play such a determining factor in your everyday life, it’s simply because you have never dared to dip your toe in the waters.

The more you uncover and embrace who you are, the more it will propel you forward into exuberant self-expression. The more you freely express yourself with no hesitation, the more you uncover parts of yourself that you never knew were there. It’s not a chicken or egg situation; rather, it’s a reciprocal relationship between uncovering who you are and fearlessly expressing it day by day.

May you allow yourself the luxury of being comfortable in your own skin. May you allow yourself the freedom of not caring what others are thinking, wearing or saying. May you allow yourself the joy of being true to who you really are and expressing it with humble confidence.

You have a blank canvas in front of you. What are you going to create today?

“The outfit you put on in the morning is the first work of art you create for the day.”